I'm losing it.
I've never been this way in my entire life. I'm too damn nervous, I'm angry, I want fucking revenge.
But I also want out of the Army. I need some time to get my head on straight. Physically recover, and get ready to return as a civilian.
And then I need to kill as many of those bastards as I can before they get me again.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Medevac
2 Delta. IED north. Three casualties. 1 Delta spun up from the southern ANP station moving to help.
I pray to God Pyro's okay as we drive like hell north. Just south of an IED hotbox, we start to drive down an embankment and go off road.
I see a white flash and hear a bank that makes my ears ring. Gravel, oil, and dust hit me in the face. I go unconcious.
I come to on the floor of the MRAP and the first thing I hear is Schell's screaming. I crawl over to him to check him out.
Lower back pain. He can't move his legs. Fuck.
I try the ramp, and nothing. I grap his hand and squeeze until it hurts. I tell him he'll be alright and to stay with me. I'm scared.
Things get hazy for me and shock sets in. I don't panic, but I reaalize I'm injured as well.
Miller and the PL are moving. Miller climbs in the back to work on the back hatch. LT tries to work on Schell. I'm so dazed, I'm not much help.
Other guys are outside the truck. Cook and SFC Collins ask me if I'm okay. I say I'm good, but Schell's hurt. They tell me, Miller, and the Terp to get out. I scream in pain as I lift myself out of the turret.
Miller and I stagger away looking at the destroyed vehicle... I realize I'm lucky I wasn't killed.
I walk around the other side and realize I have no idea where my M4 is... and collapse. I vomit.
Cook tells me to go off to the side to lay down. I hear broken pieces of conversation. Reality fades in and out. I hear Schell behind me.
The nine line is called up. I light a cigarette to calm my nerves...
Soon I hear the birds coming in. Cook pulls me up. I grab his hand and he runs me to the chopper. Crew chief points to the floor and I sit. I black out again.
I'm on a litter with a cervical collar. I'm being pulled off the bird, and they take me into a bright room.
Lots of questions. I have no idea what's going on. Needles. Pain killers. Cutting my clothes off. More questions.
I am moved to a new room. I pass out again, and wake up relatively coherent.
Time to call mom and dad.
I fall asleep and I'm woken up, being loaded on another bird to Bagram. For CT scans, they tell me. I have a head and neck injury.
We make it to Bagram and I get more drugs for the pain. I am wheeled into the ICU. I fall asleep again.
I'm woken up for various tests and even more questions. All six of us from D Co are in the same room. We start to come to and talk to each other, getting the other guy's stories.
Eventually, we're told we're all okay, except for traumatic brain injuries. we're going to Shank for recovery.
____________________________
And now here I sit. I'm still in pain, but on my feet and walking around. It sucks here. People are nice, and there's a weird atmosphere of brotherhood in the TBI clinic. Now, I need to go home. It's not just a want. If this can happen again, I have to see Marina. I have to see my family. God, I just want to get away from it all.
I pray to God Pyro's okay as we drive like hell north. Just south of an IED hotbox, we start to drive down an embankment and go off road.
I see a white flash and hear a bank that makes my ears ring. Gravel, oil, and dust hit me in the face. I go unconcious.
I come to on the floor of the MRAP and the first thing I hear is Schell's screaming. I crawl over to him to check him out.
Lower back pain. He can't move his legs. Fuck.
I try the ramp, and nothing. I grap his hand and squeeze until it hurts. I tell him he'll be alright and to stay with me. I'm scared.
Things get hazy for me and shock sets in. I don't panic, but I reaalize I'm injured as well.
Miller and the PL are moving. Miller climbs in the back to work on the back hatch. LT tries to work on Schell. I'm so dazed, I'm not much help.
Other guys are outside the truck. Cook and SFC Collins ask me if I'm okay. I say I'm good, but Schell's hurt. They tell me, Miller, and the Terp to get out. I scream in pain as I lift myself out of the turret.
Miller and I stagger away looking at the destroyed vehicle... I realize I'm lucky I wasn't killed.
I walk around the other side and realize I have no idea where my M4 is... and collapse. I vomit.
Cook tells me to go off to the side to lay down. I hear broken pieces of conversation. Reality fades in and out. I hear Schell behind me.
The nine line is called up. I light a cigarette to calm my nerves...
Soon I hear the birds coming in. Cook pulls me up. I grab his hand and he runs me to the chopper. Crew chief points to the floor and I sit. I black out again.
I'm on a litter with a cervical collar. I'm being pulled off the bird, and they take me into a bright room.
Lots of questions. I have no idea what's going on. Needles. Pain killers. Cutting my clothes off. More questions.
I am moved to a new room. I pass out again, and wake up relatively coherent.
Time to call mom and dad.
I fall asleep and I'm woken up, being loaded on another bird to Bagram. For CT scans, they tell me. I have a head and neck injury.
We make it to Bagram and I get more drugs for the pain. I am wheeled into the ICU. I fall asleep again.
I'm woken up for various tests and even more questions. All six of us from D Co are in the same room. We start to come to and talk to each other, getting the other guy's stories.
Eventually, we're told we're all okay, except for traumatic brain injuries. we're going to Shank for recovery.
____________________________
And now here I sit. I'm still in pain, but on my feet and walking around. It sucks here. People are nice, and there's a weird atmosphere of brotherhood in the TBI clinic. Now, I need to go home. It's not just a want. If this can happen again, I have to see Marina. I have to see my family. God, I just want to get away from it all.
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